Hello and welcome to The Cascade’s newest column. Over the course of this semester, we’re going to show you exactly what happens when a couple average blokes attempt things that should probably be left to professionals, while also shedding light on some UFV programs that are often overlooked. We’re Sean and Paul, and, as you can see to the left, we’re two of the least flexible men on campus.
Paul’s Two Cents:
They say that you can learn a lot about a man by walking a mile in shoes, and it was with this time-honoured maxim in mind that Sean and I walked into the Valley Stars Gym last Wednesday to try out for UFV’s Cheer Team. I’ve seen the team perform before, I’ve even covered them in previous articles, but I’ve never attempted to be one of them. Sean and I were there to do just that, to cartwheel a mile in their spandex, so to speak, and learn the art of the cheer.
We also, on a secondary note, were there in pursuit of that curious animal: the male cheerleader. UFV cheer captain Brooke Ostendorf has been on my case to try out for her team since I wrote an article on it last year, and I’ve long wondered what it is exactly that male cheerleaders do. In fact, that was one of the first things I asked her when I got to the gym, right after I remembered that my brain generally stops working when I’m talking to cute girls. “So,” I said, too casually, “what do you look for in male cheerleaders?”
“They’ve got to be strong,” Brooke replied, casting worried glances in the direction of Sean and my biceps, “and actually willing to try…pretty much male cheerleaders are here to base, they’re here for stunting. They’re here to put the girls up in the air. They’re not here to dance.”
“So what do you think are Sean and my best cheerleading attributes?” I asked.
“Well,” said Brooke, smiling cheerily even though Sean and I could tell that she was searching desperately to find something positive to say, “you [Sean] look like you could tumble.” Sean shook his head vehemently. “And you,” she said, pointing to me, “look like you’re strong.”
“Looks can be deceiving,” I said, which I thought was really clever at the time.
The Valley Stars gym is a pretty unique place. The walls are lined with rows and rows of trophies, more hardware then I’ve ever seen in my life, all won by the Abbotsford cheer club our UFV team is supported by. The floor is a combination of foam mat and trampoline, and a spring-supported “tumble trak” lines one wall (for the gymnastically inclined). The whole place is only two minutes from the UFV Abbotsford campus, tucked between the highway and an industrial plant, yet it’s almost impossible to find unless you know where to look.
But back to the try out:
First of all, Brooke got us moving, running around the foam floor in one giant counter-clockwise circle. In retrospect I think this was the highlight of Sean and my experience, in that it was the only activity of the day that didn’t leave us crumpled on the floor cradling bruised body-parts. If there’s one thing P.E. taught me (besides towel-whipping) it was how to run in a circle.
But the level of difficulty rose fairly catastrophically from then on in. “Okay,” Brooke would say, “now I want you to do a double round-off toe-kick handspring with a 180 twist,” and we’d all line up on the mat and…
We’d do it, or I mean the cheerleaders would do it, and then I would do something that might have been a cartwheel and might have been a somersault, depending upon your perspective and mood. And Brooke would look at me and give an exaggerated smile, the kind one gives to a dog which has, for once, puked on the linoleum instead of the living room carpet, and say “Good Job!” in a perfect cheer captain voice.
Then we’d line upon the mat again, and Brooke would say she wanted a 360 twist this time, and the whole process would repeat itself.
It was actually amazing to watch, in that the amount of talent on that bouncy, blue floor was astounding. Many of the girls had years of gymnastics experience, and Connor and Alex (two of the male cheerleaders we interviewed) could tumble with the best. There is something humbling about watching someone pull off a series of flips in one, fluid explosion, and know that not only do you lack the guts to even attempt what they’ve done, but you’ve also repeatedly made fun of their sport in the past. It made something ache, deep in my stomach. A knot of shame, or perhaps the muscle I pulled trying to do a proper handstand.
I gave up an hour in, although I’d like to point out, in the interest of fairness, that Sean fled the scene after fifteen minutes (he had “things to do”). Brooke wouldn’t let me leave until I’d tried “stunting”, which is an activity in which several cheerleaders throw another cheerleader [called a flyer] up in the air, presumably as a punishment for not looking cheery enough. This was all fine by me until Alex demonstrated what I was supposed to do, and I realized where exactly they wanted me to grab the poor girl. It was then that I decided it was time to make a moral stand. “No,” I said righteously, “I don’t even know her name, I’m not going to grab her butt!”
The cheerleaders looked at me a little strangely. “It’s okay,” Brooke soothed, “we’re all professional here.”
“Just touch my ass!” the girl barked impatiently. She didn’t have time for timid journalists, with quaint, ethical dilemmas.
We eventually settled on a compromise. Alex threw her in the air, and I helped stabilize by holding on to her by ankles (a moral grey area in my opinion). After snapping several photos, I shook Brooke’s hand, and skedaddled, although not before my flyer friend marched over and gave me on final piece of advice.
“You can’t be a cheerleader,” she said, tossing her hair over her shoulder, “if you won’t touch girls.”
Which is true. I would make a terrible cheerleader. Sean on the other hand would have been a money cheerleader, in that I’m pretty sure he would have at least grabbed the girl’s calves, perhaps even her knees!
He’s always been a bit of a lady’s man.
Sean’s Two Cents:
Cheerleading. There are far too many stereotypes and not enough space on this page to discuss them all. Somehow the sport has been viewed as simple entertainment during halftime for football fans, not as an actual sport. One has to wonder if, in the middle of their bag of peanuts and beer, the average sports fan has given thought to the amount of physical skill and commitment it really takes to be a cheerleader.
Well, this past week, my colleague, editor-In-Chief Paul Esau, and I went to do some investigative journalism at the 2011-12 UFV Cheerleading try-outs. The plan: actually try out for the team. I even dusted off my old gym shorts. As I stood at the door to the practice facilities, I found myself asking two questions: ‘How much am I getting paid for this?’ And, ‘Is the human body even supposed to bend like that?’
All through elementary school I feared one thing: P.E. class, and more specifically, the unit in P.E. class which had us doing cartwheels and tumbling. For some reason, my plump little body could not overcome the unnatural feeling of flipping one’s self over one’s self. In any case, those memories came flooding back as I watched the Cheerleaders of UFV, men and women alike, practice their routine for the coming season. I was reminded that yes, this is a sport – perhaps even more so than the sports that they often cheer for. Paul, on the other hand, seemed to be quite a natural fit. And by natural, I really mean un-natural. There is something just disconcerting about seeing a 6’5” man attempting to do handstands amongst twenty-or-so trained gymnasts. Don’t get me wrong; I am fully supportive of male cheerleaders, just not Paul.
In any case, Paul did give it a good effort. Unfortunately, (and when I say “unfortunately”, I mean fortunately) I had somewhere to be, so I missed out on most of the practice. That said, from what I did see, I learned two things: First, these are athletes. The amount of physical strength needed to be a cheerleader is simply astounding. Second, Paul Esau is quite possibly the bravest member of The Cascade staff.
So, next time you are at the UFV Cascades Basketball game, remember that you are really watching two sports.
UFV’s Male Cheerleaders: The Real Men on Campus
An interview with Connor Labossiere, Alex Lemley, and Nick Miller
What is your history in cheerleading?
Connor: This is my second season and I’ve been doing gymnastics for the past thirteen years so this is just a new spin on everything.
Alex: I did a year of gymnastics when I was ten, and then quit and joined cheer when I was in grade ten. So, five years now.
Nick: I started halfway through last year, I’m brand new to everything here pretty much…I was talked into it by my girlfriend, and it’s actually kind of fun!
In your opinion how difficult is this sport?
Connor: Oh I would say it’s the most difficult thing I’ve every done. I am literally dying at the end of practices!
Alex: Each sport has its own individual difficulty, but people don’t know the actual difficulty of stunting in cheer. It’s got its own difficulty that no one realizes until they actually try it.
Nick: You can’t really compare it because it’s completely different. Like I played soccer my whole life and basketball and the muscles required are completely different. Nothing else requires you to stand on your head, or throw someone else in the air.
How hard is it to be a male cheerleader? How do you deal with the stereotypes?
Connor: Well actually I’ve never encountered [these stereotypes] just yet. Everybody I’ve spoken to has been very supportive of it and everything.
Alex: There are stereotypes and people do kind of give you that look, but then…my argument with my friend when I just joined, cause he was in football and I was in Cheer…I always said to him “So you go and have practice with thirty dudes, and I go and have practice with twenty chicks.” But obviously to each his own right? Cheer’s not for everyone. There are people who’ve made fun of me for it too, but I mean if you really like it you don’t give a shit.
Nick: Friends joke, but other than that it’s fine. It’s fun, and you also get to spend time with fifteen girls, so they can’t really make jokes.
