By Melissa Spady (Contributor) – Email
Print Edition: April 10, 2013
Anyone who knows me knows I can count the things I take seriously on one hand, and mental health is one of them. Last week Jasper Moedt bravely wrote about his personal struggle and the stigma surrounding mental health. I’d like to continue the conversation this week by sharing my own struggle.
I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression all my life, and I’ve been through the whole messy process of learning to cope with it: the doctors, the countless appointments, the pills, the counsellors and the social shame that makes most of us suffer in silence. Over the past five years I’ve overhauled my diet, kicked my butt into shape, found constructive ways to deal with my feelings, and am more open than ever. But sometimes all those things—including a loving support system to catch me when I breakdown—aren’t enough to ward away the creeping raincloud that seems to follow me wherever I go. I’ve tried making medication a regular part of my life (twice), and even though it helped me pull myself out of the dark hole I’d created, in the end I just felt numb.
For me, the pills were simply a band-aid to cover up an underlying and unresolved issue: I had no idea how to manage my stress and anxieties. I let them trample all over me.
One particularly stressful day I’d finally had enough. I’d read about meditation and its benefits for months but had no idea how to start, so I turned to Google. “Meditation for beginners” led me to a fancy little program I could tote around with me on my iPhone called Headspace. Upon download, I was offered a free 10-day program. Everything I wanted to know about meditation but had been too scared to ask was answered in a few snappy little animations and an introduction by the program’s creator, Andy Puddicombe. Ten minutes for 10 days, how hard could it be?
Surprisingly challenging, actually. Anybody can sit down and meditate, but it is a learned skill that must be honed over time. I didn’t realize how busy my brain was until I had to be alone with it. It wasn’t until day six that I could sit down without multiple thoughts bouncing around in my skull, but by day 10 I found myself looking forward to sitting. The gentle guiding from Puddicombe, and breathing techniques he introduces, effectively reduced my mental and physical tension. I felt relieved. There are lots of studies that link meditation to lowered stress hormones (cortisol), and people from all walks of life practice it for a variety of reasons: lowering stress, tackling insomnia, reducing inflammation, etc. We live in a society that pressures us to push ourselves to the limit, which is why I feel learning to practice mindfulness and meditation is so important.
To start, I recommend downloading Headspace (for free) on your iTunes or smart phone and watching the animated introduction. It offers basic, non-judging, guided meditations for you to do for 10 days. How and when to sit are addressed, as well as interviews with other subscribers who share their stories. I did it last year and have been actively meditating ever since. I’ve noticed positive changes in my personal life, my insomnia has vastly improved, my emotions are easier to balance, and I’m more in-tune with my body and mind.
I often get the eye roll when I start talking about meditation. “New age hippy bullshit,” they say, when in fact people have been practising meditation for thousands of years. It’s even more applicable in today’s age when we have so many digital distractions to hide our feelings away in. Learning to focus my mind and take control of my emotions has been the key to shooing that little rain cloud away. I feel like I have my life back, and if talking about it helps just one person take their life back too, then it’s worth it.
Depression and anxiety are the bane of any and every student’s post secondary career. They can easily take a level-headed person and turn them in to a quivering mess if left to fester. With exams and deadlines on the horizon, don’t let yourself become victimized by your mental health. Take your time, slow down, reach out to one another when it becomes too much, and remember that we’re all in this together.
