The concept of viewing your romantic partner as “the ol’ ball and chain” has been retired, and in its place has come a new era; one that makes loving your partner your “thing.” Really, it should be a no brainer; go ahead! Love your partner! It becomes tricky though when you decide to make this your entire personality, and go as far as to make it your marketable brand in a professional or public environment. It’s a trend that is resulting in certain public figures being labeled as “wife guys.”
Recently social media has been buzzing with the news that internet personality Ned Fulmer, a now former member of The Try Guys, has been unfaithful to his wife. Since the news broke, major news publications have been talking about the scandal and there was even a Saturday Night Live sketch lampooning the subject. Cheating scandals are not new to celebrity/influencer culture, so why was this so shocking to millions of people? Simply because Fulmer was one of these so-called “wife guys.”
What is a “wife guy” exactly? These are the guys that really only talk about how much they love their wife, usually painting the perfect picture of their relationship to a point where it seems unattainable to have one like they do. These are the type of people that want praise every time they utter their love for their spouses or show any display of affection towards them on social media or in real life. People with these personas might believe that they can get away with infidelity or poor behavior behind closed doors, because who would want to believe a guy as nice as him could do this kind of thing?
For many this particular situation with Fulmer, one of the more notorious and famous “wife guys” out there, feels more personal. Fulmer has used his marriage as a vehicle to gain views on YouTube videos and to create a cookbook. Fulmer is not the only wife guy to ditch this persona after being exposed for cheating, though. It feels rather nihilistic to say cheating happens — I’m not defending it by any means — but somehow salt is rubbed into the wound more when the cheater is a wife guy, as they typically love to market themselves as safe, emotionally available, and committed. They are always at our fingertips through social media, playing into the idea that women love a committed man (ironic, I know).
But the truth is that the “wife guy” is truly just a new type of branding that men are playing into. TikTok has been flooded with people deeming themselves a golden retriever boyfriend (someone that is just nice), a himbo (he is nice but not the brightest), or a soft boy (thinks painting his nails is peak feminism). This year there has also been a rise in another type titled normcore boyfriend, where it has become appealing to be in a relationship with someone that has no social media presence whatsoever. The addition of the wife guy is simply just another type of dude to fill this roster of rotating boys that social media wants us to find desirable and cool.
At the end of the day we shouldn’t really care about these people. These aren’t our personal relationships, but they sure are parasocial, and we have no real connection to any of the drama while still feeling invested. The reason people care so much about all of it is because we thought we could trust these men. The real life relationships are put on pedestals because we hope that one day we will find a love as secure and comfortable as they did; they’re real life fairy tales. I believe the Fulmer and Try Guys scandal marks the downfall of this popular persona. Now that the bubble has burst and my vision is clear, I am ready to say goodbye to the wife guy.
Eva Davey is a UFV student majoring in English Literature and minoring in Media Communications. She is a fan of poetry, oat milk lattes, and the final girl trope. Currently, her worst enemy is the Good Reads app.
