Helping each other; helping ourselves

Self-help has become an appealing cultural phenomenon that aims to help us cope with a world that is depleting us left and right. I see two major factors in our culture that are driving humans into despair: isolation and hyperindividualism. It is expected that we would want to pick up a book that suggests it can make our lives better. However, I see shortcomings in self-help’s promise to its readers. 

In order for self-help to actually help, the reader must assume that the help they require is a result of the self, and therefore, it can come from the self. I will not dispute that in some cases, the self is responsible. For example, in those who deal with negative self talk, a self-help book could be a catalyst to better inner dialogue. 

We may reach out for help, including the latest self-help book, for a wide range of reasons. Some may include mental health issues, a desire to create better habits, and the pursuit for a better lifestyle. The self-help industry has managed to generate billions of dollars by selling self-improvement methods. I take the rise of self-help culture during this time of deep political crises and general unrest to mean that for many people, external factors may be responsible for a person requiring help to get back to a place of mental wellness. 

Our society has become increasingly divided and polarized in these times of deep political crises. According to some scholars, the polarization is in large part due to social media, which is helping to isolate us further into the culture we live in. In my view, our culture is one that values the success of the individual over the community. Furthermore, it devalues the role of the community in an individual’s life, and this hyperindividualism has contributed to widespread isolation. Loneliness is skyrocketing—the World Health Organization declared it a global public health concern in 2023. We spend hours everyday on social media, using it to build our personalities, rather than building ourselves through interpersonal relationships. I see the notion of self-made success on magazine covers, with little mention of how the community or the system one lives under helps to make one’s success. It is no surprise to me that within the same culture that praises the self-made, the kind of help that is becoming popular is self-help. 

While self-help books are intended to contribute to people leading better lives, the socio-political reasons driving people to such books must be challenged. Despite the title of the genre, self-help may require its readers to lean on the author of the book, not the self. What if, instead of leaning on the authors of such books, we started leaning on each other? 

Interpersonal relationships have been found to be nourishing and healing for those battling mental health issues. Building these real-life relationships would not only help our mental well-being, but it could help us spend less time on isolating activities like using social media. Furthermore, it could help us create bridges between each other in a deeply politically divided society. It is time for us to move beyond books and instead lean on each other. Fostering interpersonal relationships may help us lift each other up, and challenge the elements of society that dare to separate us.

Amelia Lutz

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