Violence against women has been an ongoing issue for years, but it’s time to put an end to it
It’s no secret what women have to go through on a daily basis: from being cat-called on a daily walk to being ridiculed for what we wear or how we present our own bodies. Just recently a woman reported a man had followed her for 40 minutes around Vancouver. And in the beginning of March, there was a women’s march against sexual assault in Australia. Most of these issues stem from one thing: men. It’s easy to blame women for anything that happens to them by saying things like, “Why didn’t you just say no?” or my personal favourite, “Well, what were you wearing?” Why are we getting asked these questions when we are the victim in these situations?
For as long as I can remember, if I experienced harassment from a man I would be blamed because of how I dressed or presented myself, when instead we should be making the man take responsibility for his actions. There are too many horrifying cases of women not being taken seriously for their sexual assault allegations, simply because they were drunk at the time. When women decide to testify in court for any sort of rape allegation, they are often ridiculed or blamed, causing women to shy away from speaking out.
Rather than making women feel bad for just being themselves and blaming them simply for being women (or anything else for that matter), society at large should be teaching men to learn to control what they say and do and respect women. It isn’t fair to me or any other women out there to have to experience this harassment during our everyday lives. I don’t want to be scared to take the garbage out at night simply because no one wants to teach men how to treat a woman.
On a global scale, one in three women have or will experience sexual or physical violence in their lifetime; this is about 736 million women. That is a horribly large number, and not only that, in Canada, one woman is killed every six days by their intimate partner. I brainstormed ways we could educate men with other women in my life, and we agreed on a few things. Early age learning that involves breaking down toxic masculinity is a big thing. (Toxic masculinity manifests when men are taught to suppress their emotions and associate violence with power, often in the form of acting “tough.”) In order for change to happen, parents need to make sure they are teaching that it’s valid to have a range of emotions throughout childhood and adolescence. When it comes to educating grown men, it’s a hard thing to do without it becoming institutionalized; they won’t listen if they’re forced to listen. In addition, we agreed that educating can come from being active and loud. If you notice a woman being disrespected in public, don’t be afraid to stand up for them — this goes especially for men holding other men accountable. I don’t think that this is an issue that can be solved any time soon considering how long it has been happening for. As a woman, I would love to help change the way men think or act toward women, but why would the oppressor start listening to the oppressed now after all these years?
However, I very much hope that with all of these cases involving men harassing women getting brought to light, there will be some changes starting to happen. Society as a whole made a big leap when the #MeToo movement began gaining traction because it really helped establish a platform for women to speak out about their experiences. Ever since the movement was brought into view, it’s had a profound impact on specific sexual assault cases like that of Harvey Weinstein, has played a role in changing legislation in the U.S., and has influenced women worldwide to take action.
And as for what guys can do that would make women feel safer, actually standing up for women when a man is making them uncomfortable is a big thing. Also, I think just accepting “no” as a no and not “keep trying.” It’s very stressful on women when men somehow misconstrue the meaning of “no” and constantly persist. I think I can say on behalf of all women that we just want to be able to do everyday things without being scared or anxious.
(Giacomo Ferroni / Unsplash)
