By Sherylynn Niezen – Email
Sometimes moments come in life that are unexpected, bizarre and awkward, yet still manage to leave your heart with a little bit of a boost. I love these splendid moments. Let me jump into a random story to give you a better example of what I am talking about:
Late one night after my last class for the day, correction, my third and last three hour class of the day, I was beyond done being a university student. Overall, my brain was finished learning, I wasn’t getting the marks I wanted, I was tired, I didn’t want to pursue my dreams anymore, and I felt stuck in a super dysfunctional relationship. The next opening for me to have a nap wasn’t for another two weeks (and only if I made enough progress on my term paper by that point), I had three hours of reading to do in 20 minutes before the campus closed and, quite frankly, I was super hungry. Basically, a full on mid-semester break down was in the works. So what does one do at this point? Find a secluded couch, asap, and pretend you’re doing homework until the panic resides and you emerge as an ‘I got it under control’ student again.
That is what I attempted to do. Laying across a couch by the library on an otherwise empty second floor, I pretended to read my history textbook for all it was worth while painfully holding back tears, as if that would hold my life together. I only had two minutes of alone time before another lone soul came up and sat on one of the other two couches available. No big deal, I was safely hidden behind my ‘super interesting’ textbook continuing my self pep-talk and trying not to let tears pour all over my face. That’s when ‘the moment’ began.
I heard a quiet, ‘do you mind if I sit here?’ and looked up to see that the other student was up off his couch and standing in front of me. This was odd. At least 20 empty chairs, two couches, and tons of floor space and this guy needs me to move my weary legs so he can squish beside me on a loveseat? Obviously I said ‘yes’ and moved my legs and books so he could sit down. I tend to live by this theory: Something that appears strange usually ends up being a great lesson and memory.
So there we were. Strangers sitting squished together on a loveseat. Awkwardly. Empty chairs and couches all around with no one else in sight. My mind was half in the middle of my breakdown still and half entertained at how absurd the situation felt. Here is almost the exact conversation that followed:
Guy with conversation starter: “What are you reading?”
Me in monotone: “A history textbook.” (as if I actually knew what specific book I was holding)
Guy: “Cool, cool… do you like it here at UFV?”
Me: “No, I hate it here.” (I didn’t really mean it, but in mid-semester crisis it just came out)
Guy: “Sooo are you a first year? Second year?”
Me: “No. I’m more like a fifth year.” (Now he was probably really impressed by my inability to graduate) “Are you a first year?”
Guy: “Yah.”
Me: “Hmm… don’t you have homework or something?” (As if I were his mother)
Guy: “Ohh yah…” then he scrambled through his bag to find a textbook, flipped through it for a few seconds pretending to read (the cool thing to do) then put it back away. About two silence filled minutes later and with a “well, I’ll see you later” he walked away almost as quick as he came.
Unfortunately, I’ve never seen this young lad again to show him the real non-breakdown me, but the moment he walked away I realized that my tears had disappeared. You see, within that unexpected moment I was so entertained by the turn of events in my night and surprised that someone still wanted to converse with me that my heart lifted a little bit. I also realized that I was a huge jerk to the poor kid. Guilt-ridden. First year guy, I apologize for my behaviour but thank you for helping me find freedom from my breakdown and giving my heart a much-needed boost.
Now I tell you this story not to reveal myself as an over the top emotional woman being mean to innocent first years, but to reveal the fact that students, perhaps like yourself, sometimes feel just plain beat up from living life amongst the stresses of school and desperately need a boost. A boost of encouragement, hope, and excitement to live this life of adventure again or simply just a homework break refresh boost. My hope is to make this space a place that has many of these moments in written form; a place where one can come and find a little boost if they so desire. So if you have such a desire, or have nothing better to do, feel free to check back when you find yourself a touch beat up and let’s see if we can’t shine a little sunshine on life again.
