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Awesome, obnoxious onions

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You know what I like about onions? They’re versatile. You can chop ‘em up to use in soups and stews, you can mince and fry them for a stir fry, slice ‘em real thin to put on a (lactose-free) grilled cheese sandwich, or, if you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you can take a bite out of a raw one though I wouldn’t suggest this unless you don’t plan on seeing anyone for a week.

You know what I ***don’t like about onions? The tear-inducing fumes that waft up from some of them. The worst part? You never know before you buy which onion will produce these noxious vapours. It’s like playing Russian roulette, but worse. But there’s always a plus side: got someone coming over whom you aren’t particularly fond of? Have them cut the onions that ***of course are going in your dinner, then sit back and watch them scream.

Or, you know, just don’t invite people over that you don’t like. It’s your call.

Image: Simer Haer/The Cascade

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