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Bane of the pale ones

This article was published on May 30, 2018 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.

Q: How many gingers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. We hide in the dark.

There is something cruel about having to sit inside all day when you know for a fact it’s a beautiful day outside. Especially when it’s been a beautiful day outside for the past week, and you haven’t been able to soak up a single ray of it. People say it’s healthy to spend more time outdoors, and believe me, I’ve tried. But I carry a particular curse that prevents prolonged sun exposure… it’s called being ginger.

I cannot tell you how many times I have spent a day outside where I reapplied my sunscreen every hour, wore a sunhat, hid under shade at every possible moment, and STILL burned my skin so bad that I came home two whole shades brighter than a lobster. My genetic code has decided that I must spend my life as a cave troll, hiding from the light and hissing whenever someone opens a blind. So, if any of you needs me, you can find me, my freckles, and my pasty white skin cowering under a desk until fall when the clouds come back.

Image: Amara Gelaude/The Cascade

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