Q: How many gingers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. We hide in the dark.
There is something cruel about having to sit inside all day when you know for a fact it’s a beautiful day outside. Especially when it’s been a beautiful day outside for the past week, and you haven’t been able to soak up a single ray of it. People say it’s healthy to spend more time outdoors, and believe me, I’ve tried. But I carry a particular curse that prevents prolonged sun exposure… it’s called being ginger.
I cannot tell you how many times I have spent a day outside where I reapplied my sunscreen every hour, wore a sunhat, hid under shade at every possible moment, and STILL burned my skin so bad that I came home two whole shades brighter than a lobster. My genetic code has decided that I must spend my life as a cave troll, hiding from the light and hissing whenever someone opens a blind. So, if any of you needs me, you can find me, my freckles, and my pasty white skin cowering under a desk until fall when the clouds come back.
Image: Amara Gelaude/The Cascade