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What happens when, after dating someone for five years, you slowly start realizing you don’t love them anymore? The person gives their everything to you: time, love, commitment, companionship, and you don’t have guts to tell them, because you‘re afraid of the hurt that you’ll cause them.

Faking love for three years is a big, big thing. You find yourself in a maze created by yourself, and nurtured every single day. You don’t have the courage, but at the same time you don’t want to talk or hang out with them either. Sugar-coated, loving words are a hard pill to swallow. You know they were always with you through thick and thin; times when you looked the ugliest, times when someone took their day out on you, and you had no shoulder to cry on. Gradually, when the attraction disappears, you meet temptations (not sexual, but merely the thought of someone new is no less than temptation), your texts to him decrease, and you feel guilty all the time.

That feeling of guilt is killing me right now! He is still waiting for my final yes/no to a long-term relationship. But apparently that long term is already long enough for me. Alas!

Image: Amara Gelaude/The Cascade

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