By Dessa Bayrock (The Cascade) – Email
Print Edition: November 21, 2012
Amid a slough of Zombieland references, the lady of snack cakes has closed her doors. That’s right – so long, Hostess. So long, Ho Hos. So long, Twinkies. After complications with strike action and I guess a tough market for snacking desserts, Hostess has filed for bankruptcy. All the factories are closed.
It seems fitting that Hostess declared bankruptcy in what is perhaps the dreariest time of year. The rain is setting in. Exams are creaking up slowly like a haunted clockwork toy. I feel like the fact that Twinkies will no longer exist is a metaphor for something ominous.
To tell the truth, I’ve never eaten a Twinkie. I’ve never had a Twinkie, and now I never will.
This reminds me of the way that the phrase “a Kodak moment” will never reach the next generation, since Kodak went out of business last year. What is wrong with this world when people aren’t buying film and they aren’t buying Twinkies? What are they buying?
You know what I find extremely upsetting? Hostess was the company that also produced Wonderbread. They have taken the wonder out of bread. Is it any wonder the world seems a little greyer?
Maybe it’s just the end-of-semester blues talking, but I’m beginning to look at the Twinkie as a metaphor for childhood. We begin life all soft and filled with good ideas, and then somebody dunks us in a deep-fryer and that’s still pretty cool, and then you realize that Twinkies don’t come from a magical place but are actually created, day after day, by some single mother in Philadelphia who works 12-hour shifts for minimum wage. And then one day she went on strike because she wanted better wages so she could feed her children more than complimentary Ho Hos. And here we are.
Last week my arts advisor told me I could graduate next semester and now I’m terrified of real life. What happens when I inevitably can’t find a job and get rejected from a couple grad schools?
You know what else didn’t make it into the digital era? Lite Brite. The world is literally darker.
I guess that we all, sooner or later, have to grow up and accept that people don’t appreciate little cakes with cream in them until they’re gone.
