More often than not, music, for me, tends to fall under one of two categories: falling in love and tumbling out of it. I have made many breakup playlists in my days here on Earth, as I am constantly tormented by the whims of my heart and the rejection that follows. I usually create a new playlist with every stage of grief I go through in a breakup. These songs are not for the days of crying in the rain or reminiscing about the good times. These songs give off big screw-you, I’m-better-off-without-you energy, and are best listened to while driving full-throttle down the highway, screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs. You may notice this list is exclusively composed of female vocalists — that is out of personal preference of not wanting to hear male voices in my ear canals more than absolutely necessary during my tragically heterosexual breakups.
“I Will Survive” – Gloria Gaynor
This classic breakup anthem dates back to 1978 and should be the very first song you listen to after a breakup to remind yourself that life does go on, and you are so much better off without that silly boy you thought you could never live without. It’s about moving on, moving up, and saying “no” to any man who dares to come crawling back. Fun fact: Gaynor’s legendary track was a definitive song of the 1980’s queer disco scene, and one time I got in trouble for dancing to it at a homophobic missionary base in Brazil I worked at in my early twenties.
“You Oughta Know” – Alanis Morissette
This track from the Canadian artist’s game-changing 1995 album Jagged Little Pill, asks all the important questions I wish I could ask my exes with zero shame or remorse like my girl Morissette does. Questions like: “would she go down on you in a theatre,” “are you thinkin’ of me when you fuck her,” and “every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back … can you feel it?” We all know the answers are (in respective order): no, yes, and you wish.
“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” – Taylor Swift
Writing sappy/heartbreaking/empowering songs about her many famous exes is Swift’s specialty, and I’m here for it. This song in particular holds a special place in my heart as I sang it over and over and over again to myself after my very first breakup to remind myself that we are in fact, never ever ever getting back together. This song is rumoured to be about Swift’s breakup with Jake Gyllenhaal after their intense three-month relationship went up in flames.
“Happier Than Ever” – Billie Eilish
This is the song I have been jamming out to on repeat most recently. What I love most about this song is the way it starts off slow and soft, with Eilish’s hauntingly melancholic voice accompanied by the strumming of a single ukulele, as it slowly transitions into a scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs rock ballad telling a toxic asshole of an ex to just fucking leave you alone.
“Traitor” – Olivia Rodrigo
If you’re going through a breakup, may I recommend Rodrigo’s Sour in its entirety, on-repeat, for the rest of time. This 18-year-old’s brilliantly-written lyrics perfectly capture the intense angst, anger, and anxiety of a breakup with a guy that never deserved you in the first place, a guy you suspected was cheating on you (if not physically, then emotionally), and who never loved you like you loved him. This song in particular captures the unspoken jealousy that you know was justified, yet was never owned up to.
“Stronger” – Kelly Clarkson
Another song that I jammed out to hard during my first breakup, and the song that got me pumped up enough to breakup with my highschool ex in the first place. Clarkson, another artist with an impressive breakup-discography, belts out an important reminder we all need to hear during all-consuming breakups: being alone does not equal being lonely. It’s also a perfect pump-up song for working out or running.
“Irreplaceable” – Beyoncé
“To the left, to the left / Everything you own in the box to the left.” Take your stuff and get out of my house because my next dick appointment is on their way over. Listen to this bop next time you need to remember to put your ex right back in their place and remind them that there are a million other fish in the sea; he ain’t nothing special.
“Truth Hurts” – Lizzo
This could be my favourite song on this playlist, and it should be named the female empowerment track of the century. Lizzo would like to remind all the heartbroken ladies out there that their exes ain’t shit, and there are plenty of other eggplant and peach emojis sliding into your inbox on the daily. “I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100 per cent that bitch” who has already gotten over you.
“Heartbreak Anthem” – Galantis, David Guetta, and Little Mix
A collaboration between Swedish electro-pop group Galantis, David Guetta, and Little Mix, “Heartbreak Anthem” is the perfect way to end this earth-shatteringly good playlist. This 2021 summer jam will not get you caught up in your feelings or even make you feel angry over your wasted time with your loser of an ex. Instead, the song ends things on a gracious note, telling your ex that you wish them the very best in their future endeavours and reminding yourself that you have better things to do than dwell on a relationship that didn’t work out for whatever reason.
Andrea Sadowski is working towards her BA in Global Development Studies, with a minor in anthropology and Mennonite studies. When she's not sitting in front of her computer, Andrea enjoys climbing mountains, sleeping outside, cooking delicious plant-based food, talking to animals, and dismantling the patriarchy.
