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How to stay in style: go out of style

We’re bombarded with this idea that one thing, one style, one way of appearing is considered the fashion of the day. But what if I told you that the popular way of dressing today is dressing however the hell you want?

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By Domingo Flores (Fashionista Extraordinaire) – Email

Illustration by Danielle Collins

So what exactly is “fashion?” We’re bombarded with this idea that one thing, one style, one way of appearing is considered the fashion of the day. But what if I told you that the popular way of dressing today is dressing however the hell you want?

The fashion world has increasingly embraced the cult of the individual. The idea, the notion, that each of us is a unique, special little snowflake has begun to gain traction in the world of designer clothes.

It’s no longer solely the province of anecdotal stories to encourage children to be themselves. It’s grown beyond the PSAs that preach a break from the pressures of conformity. Individuality has finally taken its rightful place in the realm of that most sacred, most important aspect of humanity, that province of thought that separates us from the animals and plants and all the other lesser lifeforms. Individuality has become fashionable.

This is, of course, something rather difficult to wrap one’s head around. Even I, a fashionista, one who has studied the ebbs and flows of fashion, struggle to understand this new way of being. Historically, fashion was something that everyone agreed on, donned, and then discarded when the next trend came along. But when the trend is being a unique individual … well, things become rather murky.

Individuality means refusing to follow the trends that the now unfashionable, the old school of thought, continue to abide by. To these conformists, trends come and go, and while they’re in, everyone has to jump on them. So, for example, let us say that flared jeans and platform shoes were manufactured in surplus. Then everyone who is anyone would immediately start wearing them.

But those people wouldn’t be fashionable according to the theory of individuality. So anyone — and that is to say everyone — who follows these hidebound, luddite methods of fashion should henceforth be considered to be out of style even though they are, according to the old way of thinking, in style.

Therefore, the only way to be truly in style is to be out of style, to deny style, to refute it, and to cast aside any ambition towards being “in” — to give in to the “out.”

But how can anyone manage such a truly impressive feat? Just how can an individual reach this fashionable, nay, ***spiritual nirvana?

Give in to the quirks of your personality, and clothe, accessorize, decorate, and visually enhance yourselves to the point where no one can be said to look even remotely similar to you. Become yourself, separated from and unrelated to the crowd of people, the unfashioned masses of humanity. Cast aside your newly bought infinity scarves and throw away your sexy new slim-fit, pastel-coloured pants. Garb yourself in the sweetness that is individuality, where no two people dress the same. The new trend is no trend.

Wait, hang on …

If we all decide to give up on following trends … isn’t that following a trend …? But that means …

Shit.

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