FeaturesRotten Realty in the Fraser Valley

Rotten Realty in the Fraser Valley

This article was published on October 24, 2019 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.
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Here at The Cascade we’re all getting excited for everyone’s favourite capitalist holiday, Halloween. One thing that I personally have beef with over this holiday is the exclusivity of trick-or-treating. I wholeheartedly disagree that only children should be allowed to dress up and beg for candy. We should have adult trick-or-treating, where we can dress up and beg for candy, or people can set aside some beers for the mature trick-or-treaters. 

One fond memory I have of trick-or-treating as a child was walking up to super spooky houses. The really scary houses were always the most rewarding to get candy from you know you truly earned your treats then. In order to not miss out on this part of the holiday, we at The Cascade went out house hunting for you in the cold rain (as is tradition for Halloween in B.C.) and hunted down some spooky decorated houses for you to enjoy from the comfort of your home while you binge eat a bag of candy and drink a case of beer. 

I’m impressed by what these houses were able to accomplish with their tiny front yards, but the scariest thing about this neighbourhood was how cookie-cutter identical all the houses were and how terrifying it is that they probably cost a million plus dollars and are totally inaccessible to our generation. Spooky. 

What was really scary about Abbotsford was the amount of Conservative signs in people’s yards.

This house was simple but high quality. The giant dinosaur skeleton was one of the most impressive pieces we encountered, and you had better believe I had a hard time looking at that doll hanging in the tree. 

This house was packed with spooky little details: particularly chilling was the animatronic spider whose head rocked back and forth, and witch legs sticking out of the garden are always a classic. This house wins Darien’s award for best decorated, for which the prize is a gold sticker and a hug.

Not only did this house have an impressive yard full of cool decorations, but they even slipped in some political commentary on the atrocious realty market in the Fraser Valley. 

This house had some classic tasteful decorations, but off to the side of their yard they had an absolute masterpiece of a pun-filled graveyard.

Images: David Myles/The Cascade 

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Darien Johnsen is a UFV alumni who obtained her Bachelor of Arts degree with double extended minors in Global Development Studies and Sociology in 2020. She started writing for The Cascade in 2018, taking on the role of features editor shortly after.

She’s passionate about justice, sustainable development, and education.

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