The fall semester may be here, but summer isn’t over yet. I’ll still be hitting the beach for the next month and you know I’m packing some juicy fruits to stay satisfied. Choosing what snacks to pack is no joke, so I went ahead and ranked the most delicious fruits, rated in the only way that makes sense — sex appeal.Â
- Passion fruit: don’t be fooled by the name; this slimy seed filled fruit is questionable at best. Points for deliciousness though, you’re a good time, passion fruit, I may or may not call you.Â
- Pineapple: schwing! Like a true bad boy, he’s thorny on the outside — but like they say, you can’t have pleasure without some pain.Â
- Cherries: every early 2000’s girl with the cherry tramp stamp knew exactly what she was doing. Points lost for the pit, though — just let me swallow you whole.Â
- Peaches: good lord! Just like the 2000’s hit song by Peaches herself, I will indeed f*** the pain away with you.Â
Not only will these fruits leave you nourished and ready for hours of fun in the sun, they may just serve as an uncertified aphrodisiac, too.Â
Darien Johnsen is a UFV alumni who obtained her Bachelor of Arts degree with double extended minors in Global Development Studies and Sociology in 2020. She started writing for The Cascade in 2018, taking on the role of features editor shortly after. She’s passionate about justice, sustainable development, and education.