Darien here, your friendly neighbourhood editor-in-chief, and I’m coming with a word of advice for you: this semester don’t get so lost in the sauce of academia that you, in the words of our great overlord Ferris Bueller (am I aging myself here?), “don’t stop to look around for a while.”
There’s lots to pay attention to this semester aside from your studies, such as, for example, the horrors. I know, we’re all sick of the horrors. But here’s the thing, if you’re here, reading this, at the university or even in this community, chances are you hold a small bit of privilege in this ever shifting world. It’s the times, you see, they are a changin’, and we’re all a strugglin’. So make an effort this semester to do a little something, you know? Maybe something revolutionary! If I may make a suggestion: talk to the people around you. Yeah, radical idea, but bridging the gap between you and your peers and approaching them with genuine interest could change the world, I’m sure of it. Ever heard of the art of conversation? It used to be a really popular thing, but I’m confident that we can revive it.
So here are some of my tips to get the ball rolling on some wonderful conversations this semester:
- Be authentic. People value a person who can be real, open, and honest. This is also a great way to weed out the fakes, or those who can’t and don’t want to connect on a deeper level. Pro-tip: avoid oversharing, there will be a time and place for this should the friendship progress. Not everyone needs, deserves, or wants to know about your dirty laundry.
- Ask questions and be an active listener. Come up with a couple of questions relevant to the situation you both find yourself in before approaching someone. Be sure to ask follow up questions too, no one likes someone who only talks about themselves or seems to just be waiting for their turn to speak. Don’t dominate the conversation, people appreciate when you are curious about them. Oh, and silence can be good. Don’t fill moments of silence with chatter, take a deep breath and see what the other person says, then build off that.
- Develop emotional maturity. It’s difficult to engage with people if you tend to emotionally project, cannot temporarily set aside emotions, or cultivate a sense of self awareness when engaging with others. Be mindful of your feelings during conversation and remain in emotional control. If you get triggered, don’t freak out, end the conversation if you need to and don’t talk to that person again. Tip: UFV counsellors are there for support!
- Identify the right people to talk to, but go out of your comfort zone! It’s easy to only speak to people who look, think, or act like you do. But you might be pleasantly surprised if you start going out of your way to speak to a diversity of people. Just remember to always be respectful, it’s a hit or miss process, but I can guarantee that you’ll probably learn something along the way.
Darien Johnsen is a UFV alumni who obtained her Bachelor of Arts degree with double extended minors in Global Development Studies and Sociology in 2020. She started writing for The Cascade in 2018, taking on the role of features editor shortly after. She’s passionate about justice, sustainable development, and education.