Print Edition: June 17, 2015
Summer is pretty much in full swing by now. We can now walk out of the oppressive, time-consuming vortex that is the day-to-day life of a university student and bask in the sunlight, revelling in our newfound freedom for one dew-covered second before turning around, walking back inside, and shutting the door.
Contrary to what Tide detergent commercials would have us believe, not everyone wants to spend their summer rolling around in fresh grass in an attempt to gradually turn off-white khakis into mint-green khakis. If, like me, you don’t practice khaki alchemy, here’s a couple of things you can do this summer that won’t require you to journey outside for very long, if at all.
Remember that book you got for Christmas? The one you never got around to reading because school and work took up too much time to allow for an activity as bourgeois as reading? Well, you can totally read that book now. You have more time both to read and to look for a novel you might actually want to read. If anything, it’ll strengthen your vocabulary while enabling your pathological fear of the outside.
Speaking of activities that require you to sit still for prolonged periods of time while staring intently at an object: summer is literally the perfect time to binge-watch a show. For the two of you who still haven’t watched Breaking Bad, this is the perfect time to hunker down and entertain yourself with the moral and physical deterioration of a cancer-afflicted chemistry teacher / meth cook. Perhaps you don’t want to spend your summer alone watching TV? Invite a couple of friends over to watch Mad Men and take a shot every time Don says or does something that contradicts the set of morals you thought he had. Or better yet, every time he lies.
If you don’t want to stay home all summer long, but also don’t want to go outside, I’ve found a loophole for you. Concerts are technically inside, and usually held at night. If you’ve got the money for it, go to as many concerts as you can. You’re still technically inside a building. You can also learn to play guitar in lieu of watching someone do it. Less glamorous, but also less expensive.
If the recommendations included in this article follow any one principle, it’s this: increase, as much as you can, your consumption and creation of art in all its many forms. Because if you’re not going to be entertained by nature, you might as well be entertained by what best imitates nature.