In honour of the greatest failed showman of all time visiting Abbotsford for the first time in nearly two and a half years tonight (Wednesday, September 27), below is a list of incredible songs by a time-tested lyrical, musical, and performance artistical genius. He once also told me during a show at Aftermath, now that sliver of a room at the back of the Envision Athletic Centre that faces the SUB, that I had the voice of an angel, and the perfect face for radio.
B.A. Johnston — Hot Nerd
This song could be seen in two ways. One is that it could be objectifying to women, implying that the “nerd” who B.A. happens to find to be “hot” in his eyes, would be in some way less of a desirable person if she didn’t satisfy his physical expectations.
B.A. Johnston — Eye of The Douchestorm
On the other hand, that song really is that and only that, as described above, so this song may actually be more self reflection than initially appearing at first blush. Fortunately, we know that B.A. is an upstanding young gentleman who does not abide by the behaviours described therein.
B.A. Johnston — Your Roommate’s a Couche-Tard
B.A. does, however, fail to mince words when it comes to describing his dissatisfaction with the nocturnal tendencies of his potential one-night-not-standing’s roommate, nor is it beneath him to title the song in which he does so in such a way as to recall both convenience stores and ableism.
B.A. Johnston — Deep Fryer in My Bedroom
Really, all of the above can only be in jest, seeing as B.A. has the self-efficacy to come clean about his in-room-health-code-violation of a kitchenette. The relentlessness with which he repeats the prologue to this song’s live performance identically, show after show, displays a serious audacity unmatched in humanity.