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Chatspeak with Jesus



Jesus spoke to me the other day. I was driving down McMillan Road, and as I passed by Grace Church, he reached out to me. Or rather, he flashed a message at me from the digital message board in the parking lot. It said: “Brb Jesus.”

Now, I’m still not entirely sure what he meant by this. Is he taking a trip to Hawaii without me, or is he just going to his kitchen to make himself a sandwich? In either situation I’m a little miffed that he didn’t invite me along for the ride. Right now, there’s nothing I’d like more than to be eating a sandwich in Hawaii. Really, the least he could do is bring me back a lei or a bag of chips.

Jesus did not, in fact, “brb.” It’s actually been six days since our brief encounter, and I’m getting a little worried about him. At what point do I send the search party out? How do I search for someone with no definite physical form? These are the questions, and I certainly don’t have the answers.

Image: Robert Sweeney/The Cascade

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