OpinionFacebook status stay-aways

Facebook status stay-aways

This article was published on September 27, 2013 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.
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By Taylor Breckles (Contributor) – Email

Print Edition: September 25, 2013

Johan-Larsson-Flickr

“Off to Hawaii, see you in two weeks!”

“I just don’t know what to do anymore…”

“What a great party – can’t wait for next week!”

Millions of people all over the world update their statuses every minute. But how many are actually worth reading? After sifting through the mess of emotional problems, bragging, unoriginal words of wisdom, and attention-seeking posts, the remains are slim pickings. Everyone is guilty of posting at least one status nobody cares about, but when do feel-good statuses become a menace to the Facebook world? An article on waitbutwhy.com outlines the seven deadly sins—or “ways to be insufferable”—on Facebook; here are some key things to avoid when writing your next update.

Everyone has that friend – the one who seeks help with all his or her issues on a public forum. That is fine; I don’t mind helping out every once in a while. But when that friend starts pulling out completely ambiguous and what you hope are rhetorical questions, there’s a problem.

You can’t honestly expect your friends to answer: “Why would this happen to me?” And often if kind-hearted souls inquire about the issue, they receive a cold “I don’t want to talk about it.” How does that help?

Rule one of the Facebook code: don’t post ambiguous rhetorical questions!

Another rule is not to post on a public forum about a private situation. You had a great time at the party last weekend – good for you. But what do all your friends think when they see that? True, some might think you’re popular. But some would also wonder why they weren’t invited, or if you don’t like them as much because you never post statuses about your time with them, and spiral into a pit of self-doubt. Private jokes also fall into this category. If nobody knows what you’re talking about except two people, why make a status about it? A definite Facebook faux pas.

One kind of status breaks two rules: the personal expression of sadness or turmoil, matched with an inspirational and typically well-known quote. This breaks rule number one, and another rule – don’t post a well-known quote as either an explanation to yourself or a sign that you are intelligent. It doesn’t take a genius to use Google, so at least find something original to quote. There are only so many times a person can be told to “be the change that you wish to see in the world” (Mahatma Gandhi) or “if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best” (Marilyn Monroe). Yes, they are great quotes that continue to inspire thousands, but people are not inspired by your Facebook status. If you quote something, at least explain why it is significant to you. If you explain, perhaps your words will be quoted as an inspiration.

Nobody is guiltless of these crimes, and I doubt anyone will stop committing them, but maybe—just maybe—there will be fewer statuses about emotional turmoil, rhetorical questions, and inspirational quotes without a source of inspiration. After all, “we must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope” (Martin Luther King Jr).

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