Print Edition: September 24, 2014
The hype around George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four baffles me. I started reading this garbage in order to understand the constant references in pop culture and internet news articles, and now I feel nothing but regret!
What actually makes a good book? It’s hard to say, because I haven’t read that many, but sex and violence would definitely help. Now, there are explosions in the book, sure, but only once every million pages. There is sex, but it’s weird and one of the participants is a gross malnourished guy. Plus, the ending makes the whole story pointless. (SPOILER: the main guy just gives up!)
The book was long, depressing, and, worst of all, boring. The reality show Big Brother, obviously a huge source of inspiration for Orwell, can cover all the topics of this book with way more thought and style. Really, every book I have read since childhood has utterly exhausted me. Shakespeare, Hemingway, and Bukowski? More like fake beard, ham subway, and “who cares, jeez” — there are so many better things you can buy instead of books!
Why can’t books be more like movies? Movies have never bothered me in this way because stuff actually happens in them. There are no difficult words to figure out, you can actually see all the sexy ladies, and everything’s over in a matter of hours. Plus, you can eat while you watch! One-handing a novel while enjoying a bucket of wings just isn’t practical. I give reading two out of 10.