OpinionSugar and spice and everything nice

Sugar and spice and everything nice

This article was published on February 13, 2012 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.
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By Sasha Moedt (The Cascade) – Email

Print Edition: February 8, 2012

A new report is out, citing sugar as the root of all evil: from it flows heart disease, obesity, diabetes and cancers. Dr. Robert Lustig is publishing the report in Nature, a top research journal, in which he points to all the unhealthy effects of sugar intake, and proposes “societal intervention” to stop youth from consuming too much sugar.

Sugar is added to everything processed, and it is difficult to remain beneath the recommended limit. For adults, the American Heart Association recommends limiting sugar intake to 45 grams (9 tbsp) for males, and 30 grams (6 tbsp) for females. The AHA is applying this to added sugar, in sweets, cappuccinos, cookies and ketchup – foods not necessary to consume every day, and evidently unhealthy. This doesn’t apply, however, to healthy sugars, such as the sort found in fruits.

So they’re trying to take sugar away. These days, this whole “promoting healthy living” scam is trying to take away everything nice. What’s next, spice? Do you even know what girls are made of? That’s right. Am I the only one seeing a pattern here?

The phrases “kills slowly” and “toxic” are both used in the report. Oh, boy. I eat sugar under stress. I used to scoop spoonfuls into my mouth straight from the Roger’s Sugar package, but I’ve advanced from there. These days, I shovel sugar into my tea by the tablespoon. I’ve had people take a sip of my tea and spew it out because it’s so sweet. I always say (as I put sugar in my tea, scoop after scoop) that sugar makes you sweet. If you think I’m nasty now, you don’t want to see me without sugar. What’s the world coming to?

By the way, shut up about Splenda. That shit scares me.

The report is looking at setting an age limit for the purchase of soft drinks, and controlling the number of fast food restaurants and convenience stores in certain areas with schools and so forth. But I don’t know about that. “Societal intervention” doesn‘t help. People will find ways of getting their fix, especially if you try and stop them. This whole prohibition thing they’re looking at won’t fly, not with me. If this thing escalates, I’m going to be a sugar bootlegger, I swear.

Education is always the best system. If people have a clear concept of how much their bodies can take, what sugar is doing to the liver after that root beer, and what is in these processed products, maybe children (and adults) will be able to take charge of their health themselves. Or just not. It would work well for me. I’m down with ignoring the facts.

Everywhere I turn, we’re crashing and burning. And now they’re taking away my sugar? They can’t. I won’t let them. Educate me, tell me how bad it is for me so I can ignore you, but please, for the love of god, don’t take sugar away from me. I’ll follow it to hell.

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